What do Chinese people look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend & why?
Dating in China reflects a business rather than social process due to China’s recent emphasis on economic liberalization & growth. Slow social change means typically social processes have adopted business processes -- the search for a partner is limited to objective factors that business processes can evaluate (i.e. height, weight, salary, degree).
Chinese kids apparently aren’t as straight-edge as some may think. Of the over 50% of respondents who said they weren’t allowed to date in high school…
57.4% had a secret relationship their parents didn’t know about
13% said they had a relationship and chose to tell their parents
3.7% said they had a relationship and had to tell their parents
only 25.9% actually listened and didn’t date.
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Based on 114 results, largely students from Tsinghua, Renmin, or Peking Universities (China’s top schools):
Appropriate places for FIRST DATES:
14.9% Chinese Restaurant
9.6% Western Restaurant
0.9% Bar/Club (1 guy put this down)
To that 15.8% of people that believe the library or cafeteria are good places for first dates, I feel so sorry for your prospective dates. For those of you who think of the “cafeteria” as “university dining hall,” you are right, and also very, very wrong. I’ve included here images of a cafeteria (loud, crowded, kind of dirty places, from personal experience) [source] and an example of the food served in Tsinghua’s dining halls [source].
As for the library though…. who am I kidding, that’s what happens at Johns Hopkins.
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I’d rather cry in a Rolls than be happy on a bicycle.Patrizia Gucci, ex-wife & ex-widow of Maurizio Gucci
I would rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.
Interesting to see the enormous shift in attitude from high school to college. While dating was not allowed in high school for 59% of respondents, only 3% were not allowed to date in college. In fact, 30% of respondents said their parents were fine with the idea of dating in college, and 25% said their parents wanted them to date in college.
Based on 102 results, largely students from Tsinghua, Renmin, or Peking Universities (China’s top schools):
Attitudes towards dating in HIGH SCHOOL
58.9% not allowed
15.7% ok with it if it doesn’t interfere with studies
12.8% no opinion
6.7% fine with it (no conditions)
5.9% don’t like it but will accept it if it happens
Attitudes towards dating in COLLEGE
2.9% not allowed
14.7% ok with it if it doesn’t interfere with studies
17.6% no opinion
30.4% fine with it (no conditions)
8.8% don’t like it but will accept it if it happens
25.5% want me to date
Based on 102 results, largely students from Tsinghua, Renmin, or Peking Universities (China’s top schools), with an average age of around 22 years old:
37.3% have never dated before
34.3% are currently dating
28.4% are not dating, but have before
This girl is 22, and her upper limit in a boyfriend is 42. To each her own I guess.
The Chinese Relationship Flow Chart.
Dating in China is not easy. Action A does not mean Action A. Action A really means Action B layered with a little bit of hidden intent of Action C. So here is a quick and easy guide to interpreting your charming Chinese male suitor’s signals, from the moment he asks you until the (lack of?) relationship itself. And guys — this is what Chinese girls are thinking in their minds when you ask them out.
Good luck everyone!!
The perfect girl, according to a certain freshman student at Tsinghua University, Beijing (China’s top school), as evidenced by his last response here.
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Getting Chinese students to fill out a survey is like pulling teeth. My requisite mini speech every time I enter a class:
"Hi everyone. I’m a student from the US and I’m conducting a research study. I have a survey for the Chinese students only. Can I please get a show of hands as to who here is a student from China?"
“It’s just a survey. It should be quick. No one is going to judge and it’s all anonymous. It’s for my university, I go to Johns Hopkins in the US. We’re all students here trying to get our work done and it’d be great if we could just help each other out. Now again, who here is a Chinese student??”
Only then do some hesitantly poke up a hand.
It’s like pulling teeth.